Sunday, May 17, 2015

The realest I am ever going to get.

This one might offend you. Do I care? No.

Never have. 

Does that mean I don't care about anything? No.

I care about a lot. I care too much

I care about her. I care how she feels. I care about the things she says to me and how she feels. I will never disregard them because I know they are secrets that only me and her will understand. I will be the one to make the french toast though from now on, and every time I have whipped cream I think about you.

I care about my family. They have built me. I was made from my mom and dads teaching's and lessons. I will always love them even though I am going to 5,729 miles away for the next two years. 

I care about him. He changed my life and put me on the track to be where I am today. The crazy red head that would never drop a pass made it so that I could be the man I want to be and I don't think he even knows it. He will soon, because it isn't coincidence that I am going to Hungary. There isn't such a thing called coincidence. 

I care about what people think of me. Everyone does. If you say you don't care what people think about you then you are lying to yourself. I care about what type of guy people think I am. I care how I look. Who doesn't. Mirrors are used for a reason.

I care about all I have learned from my mistakes. I have made a lot and it has made me the person I am today. I am proud of who I am today. Right now. That is all that matters to me.

There is even more I don't care about. 

Care is probably the wrong word. 

I am more just sick of things. Ready to move on.

I am ready to never have to deal with fake friends. Bros before Hoes

I am ready to get out of High School. It isn't even the learning or the homework. It is the environment. The judging, the back stabbers, the clicks, the pressure. It all just doesn't matter. Life is just beginning and I am for sure ready for that. I don't get how people say I want stay in high school forever. Yes leaving means you have to work and grow up but that means I get to start a family. The people around me will actually be real, and there won't be drama. If you want to stay be my guest but all I see, is life floating on the surface and high school is the ball and chain that is drowning me. 

I will remember some of you. Most will be forgotten. I will be forgotten, and that doesn't bug me.

 High school is a small piece of my life and I know I am going on to bigger and better things. I am for ever grateful for the experiences I have had. I have learned that locking your feelings up is the safest way to go. I have learned if you are just quite and listen and don't draw attention to yourself life is a whole lot better. I have learned that the worst pain in the world is when you trust someone and they betray you. Girl or guy. I have learned how to control myself from punching someone as hard as I can. I still wish I gave you a right hook to the side of your face that you would never forgot. 

I have hated senior year. Everyone says it's amazing and have the best times of there life. Well not me. It has been a let down. I never have worked so hard for something in my life to lose first round. I have never been so disappointed hearing of the things they were doing. I love them to death thats why it sucks so much. I just hope they can stay the good kids I know they are. I have never been stabbed so hard in the back. Especially from you two. Then you say you can't come to one of the biggest days of my life because you have a date, with a girl you barley even know. 

Screw you man. For real. 

Then the year got better. I met you. We are the same person. Besides the fact that you get tacos and not a burrito, And I have never been so excited for a summer. Two years is going to be a long time but you better keep our promise. 

There is so much I want to say. I want to tell him thank you for always asking how close my papers where to going in. It meant a lot that you cared so much. I want to tell her how much she pisses me off. I want to tell him that he is so two faed and has some legit issues. I want to be good at poetry and I am jealous of those who are. I want to know how to write to give people chills. I want to be the kid that blows people away with his open mic. 

I care to much. I can't get my feelings out. I think to much.

So for now I will end by saying I am not a person to judge. I am someone that if you tell me I can't do it, I will do it just to rub it in your face. I will listen for hours and not say one word. You can tell me all your secrets and not one will ever slip past my lips. I can be a hypocrite. I try to always be real. 

This post is the realist I can come without offending a lot of people. 

I hope you all can be excited for life for life outside of high school and...

 Jó szerencsét mindenkinek